I am Fashion: 16th Annual OUT 100 Celebration

More Queens than all the courts of Europe combined.

Well darlings, we're finally recovered from Thursday's Out 100 party and we're ready to tell you about it. Ready? Here goes:

1500 gay men with great skin and (mostly) small waists drank and schmoozed and ogled bartenders for three hours. The end.

Oh, alright. We'll say a little more. Just for you. Because the Out 100 issue paid tribute to three seminal "events" in gay culture, Truman Capote's Black and White Ball, Stonewall, and Studio 54, so too did the party. It's funny because we didn't even realize it until it was almost over.

The night started off with the "Black and White" theme as B&W portraits of the nominees were flashed on the wall and the bartenders were dressed in white shirts wearing black masks. An hour later, we entered the Stonewall era as the waiters dressed in typical "clone" looks of aviator sunglasses and pornstaches and a somewhat seedy looking brick wall theme was projected on the walls. We have a small issue with that. Tsk-tsk to whoever did the party theme because the "clone" look had nothing to do with Stonewall. That was a '70s thing that started in San Francisco, not a '60s thing in New York.

Finally, the theme turned to Studio 54 as pulsating disco floor lights were beamed on the walls and the bartenders came out in pink muscle shirts and lots of glitter. If nothing else, it ensured that we'd all be staring at the bartenders all night. Then again, that was practically a guarantee no matter how they dressed.

When we arrived, we walked in right behind Lt. Dan Choi, which gave us a little thrill because who cares about celebrities when you're walking behind an honest to Prada civil rights hero, right? We wanted so bad to tell him how proud we are of him, but there was never a moment during the night when he wasn't surrounded by people. We spotted TJ from The A-List New York almost immediately and went up and introduced ourselves, which went how it always goes when we introduce ourselves to blog subjects.

"Hi, TJ. I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm Tom..."
(pause. blank stare)
"...from the Tom and Lorenzo blog."
(Eyes go wide, mouth turns into a little O)
"OHMIGOD I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!"

We will NEVER get tired of that reaction.

TJ couldn't have been nicer. Went on and on about how funny we are, going so far as to tell us that we're geniuses. TJ's partner in crime Ryan was there as well and it took a little longer to get a chance to introduce ourselves, but he was no less appreciative than TJ when we did. Like a LOT of reality TV stars, they're quite in on the joke and they know exactly how they appear to people. Ryan was every inch the gracious lady. Couldn't have been nicer.

Let's see, who else? Mike Ruiz was there and we were quite divided on his outfit. Lorenzo loved it but Tom thought it looked a little silly. Johnny Weir flitted through the crowd and was also impossible to get near simply because there was always a bevy of gays surrounding him. Andy Cohen flitted by, but again, we didn't get a chance to say hello.

The one celeb that caused us to gasp (well, Tom did, anyway) was Sandra Lee from the Food Network. We so wanted her to make a tablescape and come up with come crazy-ass cocktail for us, but she was too busy being fabulous in her sequined dress to worry about such things. Sequined dresses were all the rage, considering how few women or drag queens were there. We're assuming they were all going for a Studio 54 look.

Despite how we sometimes come across, we're not really starfuckers. Sure, it's fun to go to parties like this to see the people who poledance across your TV screen drink and chat just like regular folks, but to us, it's like going to an exotic animals exhibit at the zoo. "Oh look. There's Nate Berkus demonstrating the mating rituals of the species." The one person we were most thrilled to meet and chat with briefly was Joe Zee, the Creative Director of Elle Magazine. What a fun guy with a great personality (and fantastic skin). He was thrilled to meet us and told us he was a big fan, which, can we just say? "SQUEEEE!!!!" No, really. It's nice to get that kind of recognition from someone on Joe's level. Joe, if you're reading this, we are so going to take you up on that offer to meet up the next time we're in town.

Having had enough of gawking and schmoozing, we left the party a little early and went out to get a bite to eat. Who should wander into the diner but Steven Slater, pissy former flight attendant and Out 100 honoree (to our chagrin). It was the perfect surreal way to end a perfectly surreal night, watching the most famous gay space waitress eating his french fries not two tables away.

The night was sponsored by Marc Jacobs Bang and it was his people who invited us to come in the first place, for which we are entirely grateful. They gave us a gorgeous little goody bag too. We know we ripped the ad for Bang when it first came out, but the cologne itself is damn nice. Thanks, Marc!