TFS S2E1: Curtain Up! Hit the Lights!

We got nothing to hit but the heights!

Did those bitches put the show in The Fashion Show or what? It occurred to us last night that Iman's outrageous scenery-chewing might not be to everyone's taste, given how forced it was.

Look at it like this: remember the old Batman TV show from the '60s? Pretend this is the reality show version of that. Give her a mask and some burly henchmen (called The Imen, of course) and tilt the angle, and she'll eat more scenery than Cesar Romero, Julie Newmar and Eartha Kitt combined.

"LOOK AT THAT SCREEN. THESE ARE HIGHLIGHTS OF MY CAREER." Just remember to add "or I will KILL you." to the end of every one of her sentences and it all falls into place.

And once again, bowing must be done:

Marchesa Spring 2010 Collection, Lanvin Spring 2010 Collection

You can have your Heidis, Ninas, Padmas and Chinas; THAT is how you dress to host a stylish reality competition, bitches. All hail the queen.

Speaking of which...

All fear the attention whoring queen. What a sour little pussycat. Still, he is reality TV gold if for nothing else than the soundbites. Not just the t-shirt ready "Oh here go hell come," but for the line that could be the mantra for every bitch who ever bitched: "I wake up every morning, want to be a nice person, but by three o'clock the bitch come out." Come on now. That should be painted on the ceiling of the Bitchtine Chapel.

But back to the star of the show.

There was simply no opinion that mattered other than Iman's because Iman didn't care what anyone else had to say. So intimidating is she that Isaac Mizrahi of all people was something of an afterthought. No, when Iman was in a scene, that scene was about Iman. "It is a FASHION EMERGENCY and it needs an EVACUATION!" Plus, how deliciously funny was her "Don't move," to each of the designers on the chopping block, as if she was having one of her henchmen get a bead on them.

Which is why Isaac's solo outing was such a revelation. Given his scaling back in the hosting and judging duties, he really stepped it up when he got a chance to simply mentor.

And whoever came up with the idea of having him come in while the pieces are in their concept stage is a genius because it naturally prevents Isaac from being too bitchy about someone's hard work. This is perfect for him. Not quite Tim and not quite Michael Kors. Something else.

Talk about the odd girl out. No one cared, honey. And fire your makeup artist. We fear she's going to get increasingly outrageous as the season goes on and the realization comes that no one's paying any attention her. Expect balloon animals and magic tricks before this is over.

Let's see, what else?

We like the idea of a bitchy, highstrung show director being a character. We look forward to shrieking, tear-streaked meltdowns before the end.

And we like the idea of the introductory fashion show, just so we could learn names and get an idea of each designer's style and point of view. Nice addition.

We also think the fashion "house" conceit worked surprisingly well, all things considered.

But not without its problems. The fact that the "Shut the fuck ups" came before the end of the first episode does not bode well in terms of this getting ugly to the point of not being fun. We'll see. There really were only a handful of total whackjobs and let's face it, one of them went home.

We'll have individual posts looking at the collections (as well as Iman Caps!), but for now we wanted to offer a congrats to Cesar, who is sweet, adorable, and clearly the most talented in the room.


This wasn't an original challenge, so this wasn't an original dress, but it pretty much screams "IMAN!" Well done.


In future posts we'll have more to say about Little Richard, those two girlfriends who finish each other's sentences and giggle and whisper a lot who remind us of the two little girls in The Shining, the pretentious twit who wore the hat and wouldn't shut up about "tribal influences," The Sassy Black Girl, the "I'm straight but aren't I adorable" Guy (as well as his adoring, giggling Number One Fan), The Professor and Mary Ann. But for now, congrats to Cesar and wasn't that as fun as we said it was?

[Screencaps: tomandlorenzo.com - Photo Credit: style.com]

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Labels: Television, The Fashion Show, The Fashion Show Season 2, The Fashion Show Season 2 Episode 1