Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Yea or Nay: Beards

Jake has a lot of experience with them.


If there's a driving philosophy behind this blog it's "Let's take something we were talking about and bring a whole bunch of people we don't know into the conversation." The subject was beards. We were talking about it after the Seth Rogen post the other day: more and more male celebs are sporting the face fur. For years, most male stars sported a carefully cultivated one, two, or, if he wanted to be a real rebel, three-day growth of whiskers in public. But lately, the trend has been to sport a full-on Jesus. Walk with us. It's an excuse to look at boys.

Brad Pitt

Brad still works a goatee, a decade after they went out of style. Because he's Brad Pitt, it works for him. Or maybe we're just relieved that he got rid of the goat beard he was sporting for a long time.


Christian Bale, Jake Gyllenhaal

Christian Bale goes for the Full Jesus, while Jake has been sporting more of a mountain-man-in-Gucci look for a while.


Alexander Skarsgard, Ben Afleck

Alexander sports the popular artist-dying-of-consumption look, while Ben goes the Unabomber route.

Like long hair, beards are something that, in our opinion, very few men can really pull off. The fact that most of the above look pretty good is due to the fact that they're genetically superior actors and there's a lot they can get away with that most of the rest of us can't. They're great for covering a weak or double chin, but you have to be able to sprout a full forest in less than a week. If a month has gone by and you're still sporting wispy whiskers with lots of patches of skin, best to find another way to frame your face. Also, shave your neck. A hairy neck is gross and a well-defined jawline is pretty much the whole reason for growing a beard in the first place.

Of the full beards above, the only one we really like is Jake's and that could be due to his over-sized eyes, which provide a little balance to the beard. Christian looks way too messianic and Alexander and Ben look much better without them.

What say the unborn fawns on this very important topic: Yea or Nay?


[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage]

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