In or Out: Rihanna in Louise Goldin

Gaze into my thighs.

Good morning, darlings! And a happy new year to you all! Now. Let's get bitchy.

Rihanna hosts New Year's Eve At Pure Nightclub at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, Nevada.

First off, she's doing that thing that drives us nuts: matching your hair to your outfit. People with black hair are exempt from this T Lo rule, but blondes and redheads need to stay away from matching yellows and oranges. You look like a theme doll. As if there were 6 other versions of you, each with hair and matching dress in one of the colors of the spectrum. Together, you all live in Rainbow Castle (sold separately) where you pine over Prince Roy G. Biv and fight the evil forces of Queen Monochrome. And none of you borrow each other's dresses. Ever.

So yeah, points against for that, Ri-Ri.

Also, MAJOR points against for the long-skirt pretending to be a mini-skirt through the magic of sheer panels. Like Lucite heels, these skirts are instantly tacky. There's nothing you can do to class it up. Although to be fair, it's really not an awful dress. It's not even showing all that much in the way of skin. It's just ... pick a length, y'know? Long skirts that show exactly as much leg as a micro-mini are kind of pointless. Wear the mini-skirt, girl! Are you trying to pull a fast one on prudes with poor eyesight or something?

It's a shame, because her hair and makeup look pretty good and if the dress could have made up its mind about what it wanted to be, it wouldn't have been a bad little frock. But fake-me-out minis are a no-no in the world of T Lo, so we're giving her an OUT.

Let's review: No dresses that match your hair color and no skirts that go to your calves while at the same time exposing your upper thighs. These rules aren't so hard, are they?

[Photo Credit: wireimage]

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Labels: Fashion, In or Out, Red Carpet, Rihanna