T LO's New Year's Buffet

Let us all be fabulous bitches together.

Darlings, kittens, poodles, and beloved, precious unborn fawns, as the busiest year in T Lo history comes to a close, we find ourselves reflecting. Nothing philosophical, mind you. Who the hell wants to think heavy thoughts when there are just so many light and fluffy ones to choose from? No, the year-end wool-gathering around here has taken a decidedly frivolous turn. Walk with us.

Foremost on our minds is the return of fabulous lizard bitches to our screen with the season 2 premiere of V on ABC, January 4th. We got our grubby little hands on a screener and suffice it to say, Jane Badler as Morena Baccarin's mother Diana is DELICIOUS. Four-inch heels, boobs, tight dresses, big hair, and the best giver of bitchface you ever saw in your life. They've turned the dials up to eleven with this season, it seems. Bigger, louder, more intense. Still a couple of supporting cast members we wouldn't mind seeing killed off, unfortunately. We'll get to it when it comes time to recap, but some of them slow down practically every scene they're in. In the mean time, here's a nice fat preview:



Veering wildly off in another direction, we have something of dire importance to discuss with you, our minions. You see, one of T's Christmas gifts to Lo was the gift of shopping, since there is no greater gift to give Lo. Namely, T told Lo to pick out a brand new wallet for himself. Lo has been scanning the globe for the perfect one and showed it to T last night:
A lovely, respectable Burberry wallet. T recoiled in horror and pushed Lo to think a little outside the box. "Well, there was this other one I had my eye on and it is pretty fabulous..."

From Comme des Garcons. To Tom, this is absolutely a no-brainer and he should have a little fun and pick the beautifully, brilliantly bright wallet. Lo is leaning that way, but still feels the siren call of respectability. Minions, which wallet should T buy for Lo? It is vitally important that you weigh in.

In other scintillating T Lo news, we never made dinner reservations for New Year's Eve like we normally do and when this fact occurred to us last night, we found we didn't care this year. Instead, it's shrimp and pasta for dinner (because it takes ten minutes to make) and then we're settling in to watch both our Inception and Spartacus: Blood and Sand Blu-ray discs, which were also Christmas gifts from T to Lo, because nothing says the holidays like fabulously stylish movies of beautiful people firing guns at each other and ridiculously violent cable shows with heavy doses of full frontal (perfect) male nudity. Violence, style, and homoeroticism, darlings. Isn't that what it's really all about?

What are your plans for the evening? How high would you rate the homoerotic quotient of your New Year's Eve?

Whatever your plans, kittens...



Have a fabulous, safe, and homoerotic New Year! J'ADORE you all.

[Video Credit: abc.go.com - Photo Credit: tv.ign.com, bloomingdales.com, barneys.com]

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Labels: Burberry, Comme des Garcons, Fashion, Television, V Season 2, V Series

Victoria Beckham Handbags

Let's talk handbags, ladies.

Vicki Beckham's just put out her first collection of handbags and we have opinions. "Handbags" is probably a misnomer, since at least a couple of these could probably qualify as luggage. The collection was put together with the help of co-designer Kate Hillier and the general concept was "a day in the life of Victoria Beckham," which means several of these bags have special compartments to hold your whip in case someone gets insolent with you.

We joke because we love that skinny old chav.

Anyway, the first bag to become available on netaporter.com sold out within hours. Joke all you want (god knows we have), but the lady does know what she's doing.

Let's take a look so we can form bitchy opinions, mkay?

Vicki's been remarkably successful as a fashion designer, far moreso than we would have predicted. At this point, we'd say she's poised to be one of the few celebrity designers who might actually make a long-term go of it and still be here in ten years, flogging her wares. Part of the reason she's so successful is not because she has great design skills; it's because she is innately chic and that translates to her pieces, none of which could ever be accused of being over-designed. Simplicity and minimalism is what Vicki goes for and it's a smart move. On the other hand, these are so simple and minimal (a more complimentary term would be "classic") that we fear they have no personality at all. They're lovely and we have no doubt they're extremely well made and of the highest quality materials, but considering they'll be retailing in the $1,800-$14,000 range, one would think the buyer would want a little something-something for their money. Then again, we can hardly claim to be among the demographic who purchases $14,000 handbags, so what do we know about their potential success? They look good; as we said, classic and chic. But we wouldn't be able to pick them out of a lineup.

The bags will be available in February at Bergdorf Goodman and Neiman Marcus.

[Photo Credit: getty, victoriabeckham.com]

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Labels: Fashion, The Accessories Wall, Victoria Beckham

IN or OUT: Top 15 OUTs of 2010

Always more fun to be a bitch.

Kittens, you know what's really weird? After we narrowed the worst of the worst down to these worthy fifteen, it occurred to us that four of them were from the last month. Apparently, December is either when stylists go on vacation or they're just trying to fulfill a bunch of promises to designers before the year is out, so they throw together any old POS outfit and call it a day.

15: Angelina Jolie in Versace:

Angelina Jolie attends the 'The Tourist' European premiere at CineStar in Berlin, Germany in Versace.

The Witchie-Poo schtick is getting WAY old.

14: Carey Mulligan in Erdem:

Carey Mulligan attends the Opening Night Gala of "The King's Speech" during day one

of the 7th Annual Dubai International Film Festival in Dubai, United Arab Emirates in Erdem.

Everyone has a bad hair day now and then. The trick is to a)not compound the problem by dressing in leftover wrapping paper, and b) not appear anywhere there will be photographers.

13: Drew Barrymore in Catherine Malandrino:

Drew Barrymore attends the premiere of Warner Bros. "Going The Distance"
held at Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Los Angeles, California in Catherine Malandrino.

That look on her face says it all. "Yeaahhh, guys. Sorry. I TOTALLY overslept."

12: January Jones in Gucci:

January Jones attends the Lionsgate Golden Globe Party at Polo Lounge
at The Beverly Hills Hotel in Beverly Hills, California in Gucci.

Aw. She looks so proud of herself ("These are my boobs!") we have not the heart to rip her to shreds. But kudos to her for being the only person to make both the "Top 15 INs" and "Top 15 OUTs" post. That's something, right?

11: Salma Hayek in Yves Saint Laurent:

Salma Hayek attends the Yves Saint Laurent Ready to Wear
Spring 2011 show during Paris Fashion Week in YSL, of course.

A strange time and place to stage a salute to Toulouse Lautrec, but whatever floats your boat, stumpy.

10: Christina Aguilera in Atelier Versace:

Christina Aguilera attends "The Unmasking" The Lynda and Stewart Resnick Exhibition Pavilion Opening Gala held at The LACMA in Los Angeles, California. She wore an Atelier Versace gown, Christian Louboutin shoes and a Christian Dior clutch.

TWENTY-NINE YEARS OLD. Who is advising this poor girl? This is why there should be a governing board for stylists. Because whoever put this together should have their license to style revoked.

9: Marion Cotillard in Christian Dior:

Marion Cotillard attends the Opening Ceremony of the Marrakesh 10th International Film Festival in Christian Dior.

Big, blue French chicken-lady.

8: Jennifer Aniston in Christian Lacroix:

Jennifer Aniston attends The Bounty Hunter Premiere at Cinema Gaumont Marignan in Paris wearing a Christian Lacroix couture gown, Manolo Blahnik sandals, Salvatore Ferragamo clutch bag and Fred Leighton earrings.

We'll give her a little credit for stepping outside her comfort zone. Normally, she goes out looking like she wrapped a towel around herself. This is the first time she's tried the shower curtain.

7: Katherine Heigl in Oscar de la Renta:

Katherine Heigl attends the premiere of "Killers" held at ArcLight Cinema's Cinerama
Dome in Hollywood wearing an Oscar de la Renta combo and Burberry shoes.

On the Good Ship Shitty Hair and Mismatched Pieces.

6: Katie Holmes in Louis Vuitton:

Katie Holmes attends the Variety's 2nd Annual Power Of Women Luncheon
at the Beverly Hills Hotel in Beverly Hills in a modified Louis Vuitton dress.

You can wipe the smug look off your face, sister. Having your stylist staple your dress together is nothing to be proud of.

5: Julianne Moore in Lanvin:

Julianne Moore attends the Gala Premiere of 'The Kids Are All Right'
during the 54th BFI London Film Festival at Vue West End in London in head-to-toe Lanvin.

Basically, it's this:



... in dress form.

4: Liv Tyler in Christian Dior:

Liv Tyler attends the Dior celebration of the reopening of its 57th Street Boutique
at the LVMH Tower Magic Room in New York City in Christian Dior, of course.

Someone needs to tell Arwen she's aging now.

3: Gwen Stefani in Lamb:

Gwen Stefani attends the L.A.M.B. Spring 2011 fashion show after party at Mr. Brainwash during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week in New York City wearing one of her designs.

Tragic tribal.

2: Anne Heche in Zac Posen:

Anne Heche visits "Late Show With David Letterman"
at the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York City in Zac Posen.

It strikes that perfect balance between "crazy woman on the subway who smells like urine" and "walk of shame."

1: Leighton Meester in Versus:

Leighton Meester attends Fashion's Night Out: The Show at Lincoln Center in New York City in a Versus dress paired with Christian Louboutin Venus Orlato 140 Ankle Boots.

We really don't understand how one arrives at this point. Presumably there was a mirror somewhere along the way. "Let's see, it makes my boobs look small, my stomach look like it's threatening to break free, and it's all puffy around my hips and ladybits. PLUS: SHINY BLUE SATIN! I look cheap AND misshapen! Don't even wrap it up, I'm wearing it out to my car!"

[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage]

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Labels: Fashion, In or Out, Red Carpet

TFS S2E6: House of Emerald

To the bitter end.

We're having the same reaction to this collection as we had to Nami's. Namely, we don't understand why the judges were so pissed off. This isn't a perfect collection; you could even argue it's not a very good one. But it's not the worst we've seen this season. Maybe the judges just had it with the cumulative mediocrity and this week's entries were the straw that broke Iman's back. Let's go to the tape.

House of Emerald Look 1:

House of Emerald Look 2:

We're grouping the bathing suits together because they're bathing suits and because they're Cesar's. Are these awful? Not really. A little standard perhaps, but we liked the colors and the styling. We also thought doing bathing suits was a smart way to slip in some extra looks while staying on theme. We don't like the big ruffle on the turquoise suit and we think too much stuff was piled on the poor girl in the orange one, but these were hardly disastrous.

Cesar:

This isn't great, but Cesar was at least partially right that mixing the discordant prints would have more of a high-fashion feel to it. The top looks fine but we're not sure anyone could have made the print on those pants work. The shrug is interesting and it goes with the top, but putting all three pieces together means all of them work slightly less well than they should. Basically, the pants needed to go.

Cindy:

Oh, look. Another dress from Cindy that looks like millions of other dresses you can buy anywhere.

David:

You have to laugh, because if ever there was a way to invoke sheer desperation in clothing, this would be it. You can practically see the point at which he realized he made a boring, shitty dress. Somewhere between adding the scarf and adding the hat, we'd say.

Darlings, it's a slow week here at T Lo. We're game for posting, but it seems most of our readership has fled to party away the week. Good for them, we say. We're not going to bother with a T LOunge post because we fear the turnout would be abysmal. Make this your watering hole for the week. Johnny Weir and Rachel Zoe will be sitting in the judges' seats tonight, so this should be interesting. Whoops! Never mind!

[Photo Credit: Heidi Gutman, bravotv.com - Screencaps: tomandlorenzo.com]

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Labels: The Fashion Show, The Fashion Show Season 2, The Fashion Show Season 2 Episode 6